Responsibilities of the Groom

You've popped the big question and the love of your life said, "Yes." You're

both ecstatically happy. What are your responsibilities as you plan your

wedding?  As the groom, you share many of the pre-wedding responsibilities

with your bride. Other responsibilities are yours alone. Taking these

responsibilities seriously will endear you to your bride, enable the wedding

preparations to run smoothly, and lead to a wonderful wedding day.

With Your Bride

You and your bride work together on these activities leading up to your

wedding.

Write the engagement announcement and publish it in your local paper, if

that's the custom in your area. E-mail your announcement to friends and

relatives.

Develop a wedding budget. The bride's costs will be much higher than yours.

Although the average wedding in the United States costs between $15,000 and

$25,000, spend according to your budget. Traditionally, the bride's family pays

for the wedding and the groom's family pays for the rehearsal and dinner. Your

families may decide to split the costs, or you and your bride may decide to pay

for event yourselves.

Choose and book the church or location of the wedding and meet the celebrant.

Ask about any specific requirements. Get to know the celebrant if you are not

already familiar.

Arrange appointments with providers or vendors for the wedding and reception

location, cake, flowers, caterer, music, church, and other wedding services.

Confirm everything one to two weeks before the wedding.

Choose the engagement ring and wedding bands and arrange for engraving.

Concerning the guest list, decide how many people you will invite to the

wedding. Select and address the wedding invitations. Mail invitations three to

six weeks before the wedding. Provide maps and airport shuttle schedules for

out-of-town guests.

If you have music at the reception, choose the song for the first dance and

other songs you and your bride like. Find out whether your state has a waiting

period for getting a marriage license. Allow plenty of time to take care of this

responsibility if you don't want to be in the doghouse. In most states, you and

your bride must apply together in person. Bring along a proof-of-age document.

If you choose to write your own wedding vows, start early in the preparations so

the words express your feelings just right. You will have time to revise. Scout

for a picturesque location for outdoor pictures such as a park, a gazebo, a

historic house, a private home, or an attractive building. Talk to everyone who

comes to your wedding.

Solo Responsibilities for the Groom

These responsibilities are yours alone.

Plan the honeymoon. If you're going outside the country, make sure your

passports are current. You may want to spend the first night nearby or in a

hotel near the airport if you're flying out the next day.

Buy the gift for your bride.

Arrange transportation for the wedding party on the big day. Consider a limo

service, antique car, or a carriage.

Write your toast or speech for the wedding reception. Thank the bride's

parents. Be complimentary to the bride. Thank the best man for all he has done.

Thank guests for attending and for their gifts. Toast the bridesmaids.

Acknowledge guests who've traveled a distance and thank them for coming.

Acknowledge any grandparents and great grandparents and thank them for

coming.

Choose Your Attendants

Choose your best man, groomsmen, and ushers. Brothers or best friends often

serve as the best man; sometimes the groom's father serves as the best man.

Groomsmen and ushers can be other brothers, friends, cousins, or the bride's

brothers.

Review the best man's responsibilities with him.

Tell your best man what kind of a bachelor party you want so he can plan it

accordingly.

Select gifts for your best man and the groomsmen. Present them at the

rehearsal dinner.

Arrange for your best man to pay the celebrant and musicians.

Ask one of your groomsmen to take care of the wedding gifts and cards at the

reception, load them into his car, and drop them at your home later.

Ask another groomsman to be responsible for picking up all the formal wear

before the wedding and returning it to the store.

Choose Your Formal Wear

Select your formal wear. Will you wear a tuxedo or a nice suit? Usually the

groom wears a tuxedo for a formal wedding and a nice suit for a less formal

wedding. Will you wear bow ties or long ties? Choose an outfit that is slightly

different from your groomsmen, such as wearing a different color, tie, or

vest.

Consult with your bride to so the men's outfits compliment the colors and

styles of the ladies' dresses.

Arrange a time for fittings for you and your groomsmen.

Choose boutonnieres that coordinate with the ladies' bouquets. Besides

ordering for you and your groomsmen, don't forget the dads and grand dads, and

the celebrant (if male.) 

Follow these guidelines so your wedding preparations run smoothly and lead to

a wonderful wedding day.

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