Responsibilities of the Groom

You've popped the big question and the love of your life said, "Yes." You're both ecstatically happy. What are your responsibilities as you plan your wedding?  As the groom, you share many of the pre-wedding responsibilities with your bride. Other responsibilities are yours alone. Taking these responsibilities seriously will endear you to your bride, enable the wedding preparations to run smoothly, and lead to a wonderful wedding day.

With Your Bride

You and your bride work together on these activities leading up to your wedding.

Write the engagement announcement and publish it in your local paper, if that's the custom in your area. E-mail your announcement to friends and relatives.

Develop a wedding budget. The bride's costs will be much higher than yours. Although the average wedding in the United States costs between $15,000 and $25,000, spend according to your budget. Traditionally, the bride's family pays for the wedding and the groom's family pays for the rehearsal and dinner. Your families may decide to split the costs, or you and your bride may decide to pay for event yourselves.

Choose and book the church or location of the wedding and meet the celebrant. Ask about any specific requirements. Get to know the celebrant if you are not already familiar.

Arrange appointments with providers or vendors for the wedding and reception location, cake, flowers, caterer, music, church, and other wedding services. Confirm everything one to two weeks before the wedding.

Choose the engagement ring and wedding bands and arrange for engraving.

Concerning the guest list, decide how many people you will invite to the wedding. Select and address the wedding invitations. Mail invitations three to six weeks before the wedding. Provide maps and airport shuttle schedules for out-of-town guests.

If you have music at the reception, choose the song for the first dance and other songs you and your bride like. Find out whether your state has a waiting period for getting a marriage license. Allow plenty of time to take care of this responsibility if you don't want to be in the doghouse. In most states, you and your bride must apply together in person. Bring along a proof-of-age document. If you choose to write your own wedding vows, start early in the preparations so the words express your feelings just right. You will have time to revise. Scout for a picturesque location for outdoor pictures such as a park, a gazebo, a historic house, a private home, or an attractive building. Talk to everyone who comes to your wedding.

Solo Responsibilities for the Groom

These responsibilities are yours alone.

Plan the honeymoon. If you're going outside the country, make sure your passports are current. You may want to spend the first night nearby or in a hotel near the airport if you're flying out the next day.

Buy the gift for your bride.

Arrange transportation for the wedding party on the big day. Consider a limo service, antique car, or a carriage.

Write your toast or speech for the wedding reception. Thank the bride's parents. Be complimentary to the bride. Thank the best man for all he has done. Thank guests for attending and for their gifts. Toast the bridesmaids. Acknowledge guests who've traveled a distance and thank them for coming. Acknowledge any grandparents and great grandparents and thank them for coming.

Choose Your Attendants

Choose your best man, groomsmen, and ushers. Brothers or best friends often serve as the best man; sometimes the groom's father serves as the best man. Groomsmen and ushers can be other brothers, friends, cousins, or the bride's brothers.

Review the best man's responsibilities with him.

Tell your best man what kind of a bachelor party you want so he can plan it accordingly.

Select gifts for your best man and the groomsmen. Present them at the rehearsal dinner.

Arrange for your best man to pay the celebrant and musicians.

Ask one of your groomsmen to take care of the wedding gifts and cards at the reception, load them into his car, and drop them at your home later.

Ask another groomsman to be responsible for picking up all the formal wear before the wedding and returning it to the store.

Choose Your Formal Wear

Select your formal wear. Will you wear a tuxedo or a nice suit? Usually the groom wears a tuxedo for a formal wedding and a nice suit for a less formal wedding. Will you wear bow ties or long ties? Choose an outfit that is slightly different from your groomsmen, such as wearing a different color, tie, or vest.

Consult with your bride to so the men's outfits compliment the colors and styles of the ladies' dresses.

Arrange a time for fittings for you and your groomsmen.

Choose boutonnieres that coordinate with the ladies' bouquets. Besides ordering for you and your groomsmen, don't forget the dads and grand dads, and the celebrant (if male.) 

Follow these guidelines so your wedding preparations run smoothly and lead to a wonderful wedding day.

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