The appropriate tuxedos for the male members and possibly female members of the bridal party, can be found in bridal magazines as well as by paying a visit to the local tuxedo shop. Often, the bride makes several selections from magazines or pays a personal visit to the tuxedo shop. She can then show her choices to the groom. Many brides have found this to be productive as grooms are often in the dark as to what the bride wants. For the groom wishing to be more involved, perhaps he and his bride-to-be can make the selection of just the right tuxedo together.

If the bride or bride and groom have not reached a decision, allow me to recommend the bride, her mother and possibly a friend accompany the gentlemen of the bridal party to the tuxedo shop. The bride's mother may be a welcomed member to offer advice. Often, if these gents are left to their own devices - well - the concoctions they can come up with "just plain don't go together".

Tuxedos should be ordered two to three months ahead of time. However, in an emergency, most tuxedo shops can move very quickly if needed. But, remember prom time - it can be murder.

Alterations should be kept to a minimum. REMEMBER - trying on the tux is absolutely MANDATORY before any gents leave the premises. Failure to do so can cause needless grief and even great embarrassment. If this is not done, it is your mom or an attendant who will be the one on the floor pinning up pants and trying to make a size 36 waist fit a size 40, all because this fellow didn't try on his tux prior to the wedding. 

Having someone assist the fellows with their ties, studs, cuff links etc., is just as much a part of making the whole wedding come together as someone assisting the bride and her attendants with their attire. Many of these fellows have never worn a tux before. This is another good reason for them to try them on before leaving the shop. As styles change frequently, allowing the experts in the tux shop to assist them in learning how to put their tuxes on properly will not only aid them in dressing but it will also help you.

• Send the bridal party to a reliable tuxedo shop.

• Allow 2-3 months lead time if possible (remember prom time can be a zoo).

• Make sure all receive a proper fitting.

• Everyone must pick up his/her own tux.

• Everyone must try on their tuxedos for proper fit before leaving the shop.

• Have everyone count studs, cuff links, etc., for proper number. (The Bride or her mother should ask for extras from the tuxedo shop just to be on the safe side.)

• Each person should return their own tux or designate one person to do this for all.

• If there is a swimming pool, lake, or pond etc., near the reception site, all should know in advance what the tux rental shop's policies are regarding "a little swim".

• The correct tuxedo with the appropriate accessories of black nylon socks, black dress shoes and handkerchief makes for "spiffy" looking gentlemen. While these gents may not realize it at the time, their formal photographs will attest to the fact they were coordinated.

However, I have seen many a groom, groomsman, best man and even the father-of-the-bride all "spick and spangles" and ready for the ball wearing white socks. And the fact that they honestly think this is OK puts a hole right through my heart. You will, of course, speak to the gentlemen about white socks at the rehearsal, but someone will, more than likely, show up the day of the wedding with "white socks" showing under their tuxedos or dark suits.

So - what can you do? When you prepare your Emergency Kit, pack 3 or 4 pairs of black nylon socks in this kit. If you feel uncomfortable about asking this fellow to change his socks, ask another male who is appropriately attired to do the honors.

OH! I almost forgot - be aware of the fellow who is wearing no socks at all.

AND - black dress shoes are definitely "in". Whether they are of leather or preferably black paten doesn't matter as much as the fact that they are black. Loafers don't cut it either and neither do the ever so popular crepe soled shoes. One fellow wore "combat parachute jump boots"!! The only way I could console myself was to know that at least they were black.

I do not believe an Emergency Kit has ever been made which would be large enough to carry EVERYTHING you could possibly need, but being aware of these types of problems in advance can go a long way in preventing them from happening.

One last comment on attire for the gents is to inform them that the handkerchief which came with their tuxedos is not there to blow their nose on. Neither does it belong in their "backside hip pocket". It belongs in the breast pocket of their jacket. However, always remind them to carry a spare handkerchief in case of nasal drip. This does, however, seem to be more of a "guy thing".

THE BRIDE LADY - Mary Riner Churchman