Let's face it. Weddings are highly emotional, high-stake, super-sensitive,

family-oriented gatherings. I know that surely two days into your planning, you

have discovered that. Unfortunately, the unscrupulous are privy to this

information as well. What does that mean for you and me?

Together, we have to sort through the shady vendors and clauses and come out

unscathed for your beautiful wedding. But let's say you don't have the

assistance of a wedding consultant (gasp!). Here are some sure fire indicators

that you can be "had", and how to avoid them.

You beg or whine.

Sounds ridiculous, but it's true! We've seen them on Bridezillas and other

reality shows. The brides that lose all sense of sanity, decorum and tact. You

may as well have a red dot on your head. Begging and whining may have worked

with your parents, and may even win an argument with the future husband, but

this is business. This only makes you appear desperate-- for anything. You say

(subconsciously) that you will pay any price, go to any length, and exhibit any

behavior necessary to get what you want. While it is okay to feel this way, do

your best not to show it. If your reception site isn't available on the day you

want, either change your date or venue. If your florist has strict policies

against using certain pieces in his arrangements, find a new florist or

compromise on new arrangements.

You move too fast.

We all know the saying, "Good things come to those who wait". If a vendor

says to you, "This is a popular date or month", more likely than not, they are

telling you the truth. However, resist the temptation to sign a contract

immediately to secure your dream site or band. Unless you have done your

research, are knowledgeable on comparable pricing or are satisfied with the

level of service you will receive, think it over. If you show an immediate blind

rush, you say, "The mere thought of a threat to my dream wedding day sends me

into a frenzy". Instead, talk it out with your fiancé, mother or wedding

planner. Do you get a good and secure feeling when dealing with the vendor? Can

you see yourself being satisfied with their service or product? If so, sign on!

If not, ignore the pushy sales tactics and ask other questions until you can

make a sound decision.

You don't read.

Remember the national literacy campaign ad stating "Reading is fundamental"?

It's not only fundamental in this business, it is mandatory. Contracts are

staples in this industry-- in place to protect you and the vendor. It in essence

says, "I'm going to do what I say I'm going to do, and you are going to do what

you say you are going to do". You are bound to the contract just as much as the

vendor. If you do not understand or agree with something, speak up before you

sign! Payment schedules, services, overtime fees, cancellation / refund policies

should be spelled out and explained to you prior to your endorsement. You risk

breaching your contract, losing money and a service if you do not adhere. It is

too late to ask questions or refuse to pay after the contract has been

finalized. Moreover, pay attention to all of the clauses. Do they sound fair?

Does your contract have an escalation clause? Some vendors, mainly reception

sites, have clauses that say if you book your event far ahead that you agree to

pay their future prices instead of the prices available at the signing of the

contract. How do they obtain these figures? Most vendors consult the CPI,

Consumer's Price Index, to see what inflation rates will be in the next few

months or years.

You are argumentative, immature and ungrateful.

...formally known as a Bridezilla. Refrain from temper tantrums: yelling,

cursing, threatening is not the way to get your vendors to respond the way you

want. As much as it means to you, your wedding is not the only wedding that is

happening. Your vendors have other clients too! You risk intentional damage,

shoddy workmanship and service. By no means is this acceptable for a service or

product you for which you have paid. But remember, vendors belong to a tight

wedding network. You don't want the photographer that you've been drooling over

to turn your business away because he has heard about your unpredictable and

rude behaviour.

You're a pushover.

If you ask for a proposal from a vendor within your price range and instead,

you get something that equals the national deficit: Houston, we have a problem.

You want to work with a vendor who not only possesses creative genius but is

also willing to work within your budget. If your vendor refuses to meet you at

your level or makes you feel inferior for even asking, thank them for their time

and exit stage left. Remember, this is your wedding, and you hold the checkbook.

While they have the professional experience to meet your needs, you hold the

purse. You know your financial limits. Don't sign a contract without a clue as

to how you will pay for your service or product. Who wants to start a marriage

in debt? When you cave easily, you leave yourself open for future pressure

tactics and manipulation. This may be the only wedding you will ever plan-- so be

smart!

Don't get scammed!

These examples are not to say that all vendors are bad, or vendors who do use

these tactics are shady. The key is to get you in tune with the cues that could

leave you open for misinterpretation. This may be the only wedding you will ever

plan-- so be smart! Surround yourself with great vendors and do your research.

Ask someone to look over your contracts-- your wedding planner will be able to

decipher which clauses will protect you and which could be to your detriment.

Always take someone with you on vendor visits: your wedding planner, your

mother, your maid of honor, etc. They may catch a detail that you may have

missed which might be crucial to your decision-making process.

All in all, enjoy yourself! Planning your wedding should be fun and

stress-free.

-- Terrica Skaggs is the principal

wedding consultant for

Once Upon Your Wedding. With a

background in fashion, beauty and business, She travels all over to provide

'happily ever after's' for brides and grooms.