You've got the dress. You've got the man. The caterer's booked, along with
the photographer and the D.J. Are you still worried about your wedding day? Will
can still be just as spectacular as those seen in the magazines and TV Shows.
Yes, you can impress your family and friends with your celebrity-style wedding.
I am going to show you how.
- Remember Your Guests. Your family and friends will have gone to
some expense to enjoy your nuptials with you. Make sure that you show your
appreciation and include them--guests like to feel like they belong. If you
have a lot of out-of-town guests, be sure to provide them with a welcome
basket in their rooms. This can be done on your own (or you can buy
pre-made) by adding inexpensive staples and mementos of your host city. If
you opt not to provide a basket or gift for your guests, at least supply
them with an itinerary. Guests who come to another city for a weekend for
only one event will want to see more of you and share in your wedding
events. Inviting them to your rehearsal dinner or a post-wedding brunch is a
very kind and generous gesture.
- Get a Theme. When a bride comes to me, one of the first questions
I ask is "What is your theme?" When they say they don't have one, I must
admit, part of me knows this will be an uphill battle. Ever heard of the
saying, "If you stand for nothing you'll fall for anything?" The same is
true with themes. If you don't have one, you will find yourself
(subconsciously) with five different unrelated things in your wedding. It's
horrid. Pick a theme. The theme doesn't have to be big--look at who you and
your fiancé are. What are your hobbies? What do you do for a living? Golden
Age of Hollywood, Mardi Gras Masquerade, Country, Mediterranean, etc. The
possibilities are endless! And just to simplify it, yes, your colors can be
a theme. However, you must consistent. If your "theme" is going to be green
and pink, decide on what shades and stick to it--no forest, chartreuse, lime
and mint all over the place. We're at a wedding, not a kaleidoscope. Should
you pick colors, try to pick a maximum of three and make sure that they
complement each other. Try to pick "in-season" colors as well--pastel pink at
a November/December wedding is a bit odd. Your theme will pull your whole
event together--from food to favors, everything will coordinate in style.
- Décor. Even if your place is low on the totem pole of venues, you
can still make it look like a million bucks. Are you wishing that
Christopher Lowell or Martha Stewart could come in and work their magic?
They can--pick up an interior decorating book at your local bookstore or
library. Pay attention to lines, textures and silhouettes. How do they make
you feel? Is that what you want to convey at your wedding? Implement things
like flowers, candles, sashes, seashells, etc. into your décor. You will
save money but also give your theme some authenticity. Find out from your
venue what type of restrictions you are working under (i.e., no open flame,
etc.). If you have some money to play around with, invest in some props to
go with your theme or a lighting and staging company to help bring it all
together.
- Get Personal. Being unique definitely sets you apart in the minds
of your guests. Step out of the ordinary with personal vows and toasts.
Share your relationship with your guests--name your assigned tables after
places that you and your fiancé have traveled, favorite foods, movies, etc.
Display pictures as centerpieces and to spruce up a cake or gift table.
Celebrate who you both are by incorporating ethnic and family traditions.
For example, if you have a very close relationship with your extended
family, and your guest list is small, opt for the American/Family style
dinners--where the dishes are sat in the middle of the table and guests serve
themselves. If your culture calls for a special wedding dress, have the best
of both worlds and wear your gown to your ceremony and your traditional
dress to your reception. Include your guests in ethnic rituals like jumping
the broom, the Hindu vermillion powder ritual, etc. Guests love to see
picture shows! These are very easy to do, and give your guests an
opportunity to get to know you.
- Don't Skip the Cocktail Hour. While you are off being in love and
grasping the concept that you are a "Mrs.", your guests are left at your
reception site awaiting your arrival. Be generous and have sumptuous treats
to greet them. Create an environment conducive to mingling and conversation
with soft music playing in the background. You do want people to get to know
each other and talk--so don't blast it. Opt for Jazz classics, songs that
make people feel like they are at something important. Another thing you
should definitely consider springing for is extra wait staff. It is quite a
hassle to have to repeatedly go to the bar, and once there wait in line. It
also adds a sense of refinement to your event with butlered drinks being
passed--it makes your guests feel important. Here is a chance to incorporate
your personality by having a signature drink passed and available at the
bar. Put up a little sign in a silver plated frame explaining the
significance. Your guests will feel included and also get the chance to try
something new!
- Don't Skimp on the Food! Food and drink make the event. Good food
and drinks make the party! I understand that budgets are limited, but there
is no need to have your 300 guests fighting over Ritz crackers and spray
cheese at your 7:00 p.m. reception. The reception (including food) should
take a big chunk out of your budget--and it should show. If it doesn't what
it will show is that you are cheap, and your guests will leave to find food
elsewhere mid-reception. Who wants to stay at a party hungry? If your
choices and funds are tight, ask your caterer what they can do to help you
out. Ask if you can provide your own recipes (pick up a nice cocktail book.
I personally love Cocktail Food by Mary Corpening Barber and Sara Corpening
Whiteford with Lori Lyn Narlock). Bulk up on the presentation--that may mean
for you, no ice sculpture or five foot eagle made out of lox, but you could
add fresh flowers and candles. Add variety with themed stations, convenience
with buffets and elegance with plated dinners.
- Have Assigned Seating. I know a lot of planners are against this,
but it does work out better for your guests. Of course keep your couples
together, but do encourage single guests to get to know others at the
reception. I have seen where there has not been assigned seating, a single
guest finds his/her way back to their seat to find someone's coat or purse
in their seat with five people talking that all know each other. A bit
intimidating.
- That's Entertainment. Whatever you choose--a band or a DJ, make
sure that they mesh with you and your personality. You also want them to
reflect the overall theme and formality of the group (for example, no
harpist at a country western wedding). When interviewing a DJ, ask to see
pictures from prior events, if available. What does their guest pool look
like? Is it similar to the one that will be at your own wedding? What does
their selection and library consist of? You will need someone who is not too
low-key that they put everyone to sleep, and not so over-the-top that they
want to rush to the nearest exit. You need a professional to gauge and tempt
the crowd. Definitely make sure that you keep music playing through their
breaks. The dead silence will definitely murder the fun at your party.
- Get the Party Started. Nobody likes to be the first on the dance
floor. But it is your party! You will be the center of attention, as you
should be, and everyone will follow your lead. If you get up and dance, your
guests will too. While your DJ maybe fantastic, your guests know you--your
excitement will be contagious and they will not be able to resist joining
in. Make sure that you are social. Instead of the boring receiving line, you
and your new husband can go from table to table to say your "hellos" and
"thank you's".
- Get Help. It is always fun to meet someone who wants to hear
about your wedding--all the time. Get your creative juices flowing, take
advantage of vendor discounts and learn secrets of the industry by enlisting
the help of a professional wedding planner. Everyone will have a job to do
at your wedding. Yours will be to be the bride and to enjoy the first few
hours of married life with your family and friends. While you may think you
can handle an emergency during your wedding, more likely you cannot.
Definitely enlist the help of a wedding planner to do your Day Of
coordination.
'happily ever after's' for brides and grooms.